They're on the Sun's side

The hot Indian summer reminds us of our annual war with the sun. Ravi-war doesn't sound fun any more, does it? While we fuse together against this hopeless mass of nuclear fusion, some traitors have shamelessly joined hands with the viral rival:

1. Electricity boards: Electricity board employees kill their "board"om by playing a game of timing the power outage just when the mercury hits the maximum. Bonus points are scored when an outage is brought about at night. That's when I sleep on the streets in a soaked t-shirt.

2. Lizards: Their rapid summer breeding leads to rapid breeding of ill will towards them. Baby lizards, while slightly cute, hide in the most hideous places. Even Dexter Morgan fears blood splatter when he sees a lizard reaching cooler fans.

3. Seats of two-wheelers: While the summer burns our posteriors in an abstract sense, a more concrete evidence is experienced when one sits on a two-wheeler. A simple mantra then is to "Spit on the seat and then sit."

4. Some car drivers: At traffic signals, two-wheeler folks are seen waiting under tree shades 20 metres before the stop line. While this is acceptable, one struggles to find reason in car drivers indulging in this exercise. These are the people who own a lifetime stock of fairness creams.

5. Weddng Pundits: Surprisingly, these learned wise men come up with wedding dates that lie in the midst of the summer. The world must pour its pity for a baraat [ceremonious wedding procession] dancing on the streets in 45 Degrees Celcius. The groom's face says it all. One would find tying the knot of the tie more painful than the wedding knot.If you are dancing near the horse, be prepared to hear expletives straight from the horse's mouth.

In essence, our brat sun needs to calm down - at least in an effort to avoid such pieces from emergin again.