A bit about sleeping

“Bhai… Uth ja bhaai, pahaad aa gaya,” the man who helped my horse reach the base of the snow-clad mountain in the Himalayas told me.
I had just been woken up after a twenty minutes mountainous horse-ride which supposedly had not-to-be missed sights. As I alighted (and thereby, delighted) the horse, I heard the horse-men say among themselves, “Itna utaar chadhaav ka raasta tha..aur ye gadha ghode pe so gaya.”

That was just about the time when I started contemplating. All of us go through so many ups and downs in life (Agreed that was an overtly out of place philosophical touch) but an unparalleled constancy is observed in our sleep.

One of the first lessons we learn in life is to sleep. Remember how our mother used to force/beg us to sleep? It’s one of those chief weapons parents have been employing since long when you either cry too much or bore them with too many questions. Those were the days when you wouldn’t care about time (of course, you couldn’t even read the clock) and doze off till your parents’ contentment. Just in case, mom has a rough day, her momta bhara touch would give way to blasting thrashing with the same final result – sliding into sleepdom would be replaced by banging into it after crying in the pillow.

A cousin of mine once told me how his bed-wetting trait is nothing but an enhanced tweak of the idiom, “Sone pe suhaga” to “Sone mein Su-haga”.

Though it is out of vogue now, I’d still recommend sleeping out in the open (terraces, verandahs). Before Sun-God blesses you with his virgin rays, you can internalise mosquito-gods’ teaser tweezers all night long. A caveat - just in case, some fitness freak / early morning girl-hunting uncle comes around for a jog, be ready to get trampled under his shoes.

As we grow up, the world around us raises weapons like classes, work, relationships and travelling against sleep. When I was a kid (by age), we were asked to sleep with head on our desks while the teacher went into obscurity. A cute revolution then, was to raise our heads and whisper, “utho utho” to others. Never knew that that crime would command such a harsh repayment for the rest of our lives. Teachers have changed but in revenge, they wouldn’t let us sleep. However, I have heard that new-age schools have sleeping beds for children. I guess the idea is a brilliant replacement of sleep-inducing courses of our times like Environmental Studies and Moral Science. In classes, it is as much a fun to sneak into the sleep-world without the notice of teachers as it is to watch people sleeping secretly - some nod (oscillating between yes and no), some pretend to read while some dare an extra mile to sleep on the floor (guaranteed best results, again - personal experience).

There is at least one incident in our life in which someone (more exciting if it’s a first-hand experience) sleeps off at home having promptly locked the doors while others try to enter the home by banging doors, ringing bells and finally, sneaking in through a window. The talk that follows such an incident is one of the worst sleep-shattering experiences.

Sleeping in transit is funny, nay? Barring the 90s movies, I haven’t witnessed girls sleeping on guys’ shoulders and falling in love and all that. However, this might be cited as somewhat as interesting as that. On this particular bus trip, I witnessed a person sleep-sitting between two others while swinging his neck to the tunes of the bus and resting it on others’ shoulders. The two others seemed to be polished players and dealt with the situation by starting a gala game of sorts in which the middle-man’s neck was to be used as a ping pong ball while dodging it from one’s shoulder would count as a point. The person who won celebrated his victory by smashing the middle-man’s head on the handle in front. Do not be worried since the sleep went on for another three hours (or six games).

While the world around you continues to shatter your sleep, I am in the process of sending a proposal to the highest authority for carving out a nation where the only motto would be to sleep by the people, for the people and other prepositions that might suit your sleep (try “under/over”). The worst crime you could commit there would be to wake people up. No blast or thunder. Just sleep and slumber. Before I tell you how to reach the place, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the honourable chief guest….No! Horribly wrong track. I would like to take this opportunity to share the words of the biggest supporter of sleeping – Ajit.

“Loyan ko sirf teen cheeze pasand hai – Mona, Sona aur Mona ke saath sona.”