In dire need

An Endless Exam

Parenthood theorem: The day before a child’s exam begins is when her father is tested the most.

A corollary: A child would be at her most demanding specifically on such a day.

With Mrudula’s first unit test beginning tomorrow, I could only pray that her list of demands for the day stays within my reach. She began the day by asking for an ice cream. Knowing well that her cough had subsided just a week ago, there was no way I was going to say yes. Yet, she latched on to her doctor’s words.

“Didn’t Dr Sahay say that cough is not affected by ice cream?” she persisted.

“Yes, he did.” Damn you, doctor.

“You need something healthier than ice cream for breakfast. After all…” I said

“After all, yes, my BIG exam starts tomorrow. A life changing unit test for class 4. You know an ice cream won’t hurt me but you just don’t want anything done my way,” she argued while rushing to grab her toothbrush and closing the bathroom door in my face.

I escaped the ice cream ordeal for breakfast with no further consequences. She dabbled with studies all day. She need not have to do much. It was all too easy for her.

The comfort with which she did well in her exams always remained a thorn for me. Surely, she wasn’t getting it from me. We weren’t even related. I stopped my thoughts from drifting beyond reason. 

By evening, Mrudula was bored. I asked her to play cards for some time and she indulged without complaining. She was quite intuitive with her play and was quick to latch on to my deceptions. My frequent losses were as much a result of her sharp mind as my thoughts drifting away to my parenthood mask being undone time and again.

“Can we go to Ipsita’s home?” she asked abruptly as we were about to start another game of cards.

“May be after the exam…” I said and she threw her cards on the bed.

“Exam, exam, exam! You are just the worst father,” she said and rushed to her room. Just as I kept staring at the closed door of her room, she walked right back to me and said, “You aren’t even my real father. I hate you and I hate being dependent on you,” she walked off.

‘A phase. That’s what this is,’ I told myself. And my thoughts came gushing in. What was I doing here? Hell, I wasn’t even a human. Who was I besides being an experiment gone wrong who was now a caretaker for a child?

Soon my ability to detect lies overpowered my thoughts. And it told me what I didn't want to know... that Mrudula was not lying, that she really hated me. Her exam began tomorrow while I had failed mine today. Yet again.  

May tomorrow’s one be better.

A Rarity

 A man walked in through the café’s door. Neeti kept observing him as he headed straight to the counter. ‘Office goer, impatient, and important in his own world,’ she noted about him. The people lined up at the counter brought the existence of the queue to the man’s notice. He apologized and promptly walked to the rear end of the queue.

Neeti waited for the next person to walk in through the door. She had already observed the people sitting around her and had lost interest in them. While the rest of them were predictably spending their time on their phones and tablets, she was busy observing the incoming people’s faces. It had to be their faces. Anything beyond would have spoiled the thrill of the game.

The next person who walked in left Neeti surprised. And alarmed. She got busy gathering her belongings but, from the corner of her eye, she knew that he was coming right towards her.

“Hi Neeti! What a pleasant surprise,” said Lokesh through a smile.

“Oh hi Lokesh. Please make yourself comfortable. I was about to leave,” she said as she stood.

“Leave? No way. Let’s have a coffee together. We must catch up!” his enthusiasm refused to die. She observed as his eyes wandered all over her.

Neeti smiled apologetically and moved her gaze lower down his face. A crimson red glow affirmed her decision. Lokesh was still Lecherous Lokesh, as they used to call him in college. She pulled her jacket closely around her.

“Later some day? I really must rush now. Bye Lech- … Lokesh,” and she took off.

Over the years, Neeti had mastered the art of reading the glow around people’s heart. Crimson red for lust, pink for friendly, green for envy, and so on. The game of guessing by reading their faces left her a lot to know about them. Their hearts gave away all their spoilers. But the game at the café had only been a distraction from her meeting with Kartik that evening.

The maps app told her that she’d be reaching the venue half an hour before their decided time. She didn’t mind that. Her thoughts were too occupied to do anything else in the spare time.

“I’m already here,” she messaged Kartik as soon as she reached.

“Too soon! Be there in 20,” he replied.

‘I hope you don’t spoil it for us, Kartik,’ she thought to herself fidgeting with the buttons of her jacket.

When Kartik walked in, she saw his warm smile. Even before she looked lower, she knew the answer. It was a hitch but something told her…

“Look at you being so early! I will remember this day… Hey, what’s with the gloomy look?” he asked as looking into her eyes.

“I sort of know what you’re going to bring up,” she said, not wasting time in pleasantries.

“You do? That’s great! I was wondering how to say it but now I’d not have to struggle. But again, why the sad face?” he looked at her intently.

“I can’t. Whatever you have in your mind, I do not want to go there,” she said.

“But… but I thought we were doing great,” Kartik said.

“We were. I mean we are doing great, but again, let’s not go there,” she said, “I am not ready for…” and she broke off, closing her eyes shut.

Kartik took a deep breath. Neeti opened her eyes and saw how his heart’s glow mellowed down from a sparkling diamond to a dull grey. He’s beginning to hate me.

Without saying a word, Kartik gulped down a glass of water. The grey gave way to a hint of pink. He was calming down.

“Well, at least you could have given me a chance to say it,” was all he could manage. “But we can be as we are, right?” he said with a smile returning to his face.

“Definitely!” said Neeti with a sigh of relief.

---

The meeting had gone without too much drama. She had no room for the diamond glow. Love is the first stroke in the portrait of sadness, she thought.

Once inside the elevator of her apartment, she glanced at herself in the mirror. She smiled as she saw a pure white glow radiating against her heart in the mirror. This one, right here, is the only treasure I need, she beamed at herself.