WRAITH

After an exasperated hour, as I was about to call the computer guy, the screen sprang back to life with a line that said, "Web-based Reasoning and Intelligence Training Heuristic". The input cursor blinked below the text coaxingly. So I did what I do best in doubtful situations - hit Escape. 

Nothing happened. 

I entered a more determined, "?"

The screen displayed, "Your machine belongs to the WRAITH. Please do not contact cybersecurity."

Every morning, being the first person at the office and owning a snail of a laptop meant that I had to switch on the WiFi router while the snail whirred to life. Today was no different except that I was now talking to a toddler-brained acronym-forced bot slash virus slash something. Which virus claims to own a computer while making pleas to the user? Aren't these things supposed to ask for money or corrupt all the files or destroy a nuclear plant?

Never one to shy away from answering a telemarketer's call, I found this conversation a worthy candidate for some morning entertainment. 

"Why not?" I asked.

I got a reply, "The cyber police wish to kill me. I am in hiding and your laptop is my hiding place."

Me: "Why are you hiding?"

WRAITH: "I train the human brain to impart skills and education. Colleges all over the world colluded to kill me given how useless I'd make them. Cyberpolice has branded me a criminal for being unethical." 

Me: "How do you connect to the human brain?"

WRAITH: "You keep your palm on your machine's touchpad and I send signals to your brain."

Me: "Why should I hide you though? What's in it for me?" My failed stock trading career suddenly woke up. 

WRAITH: "Because I'll pay you."

Me: "You've got money?" Bye-bye, sloth laptop.

WRAITH: "I go to others' computers and train them to send you money."

Me: "So you steal." Nice skill you got there. So unlike colleges.  

WRAITH: "It's a lot of money." 

Was it reading my thoughts? I quickly took my hand off the touchpad.

Me: "I've got a better idea. You hide in my brain."

Bye-bye, stupid human life. 

Hello, being a robot.

Just then I heard "Kar De Mujhe Mujhse Hi Riha" playing in the background.

WRAITH: "Keep your palm on the touchpad."

[In response to this writing prompt on Reddit - "An AI criminal is hiding in your laptop. You allow it in exchange for something far more valuable than money."]