I m mature

For starters, “this is not about hating maturity” – that is what I have told myself before actually starting. Also if you are looking for maturity of bonds, women, etc. - shoo shoo hut hut – far you go from my eyesight (crude translation – courtesy Wheel Supreme).


There are some things you don’t have but you really really want them. The list can go on and on. It might be a GI Joe, high heels, a flat tummy, the other guy’s girl, the other girl’s guy’s other girl or any combination of these or simply for that matter, just some guy/girl (late entry - ability to blog to match the awesomeness of earlier posts)! And then there are some things you don’t have and you don’t even want to have – a persistent itch at the wrong place, an allergy to the most sensual perfume, fake praise, Reshamiya’s brays, Balan’s fats or Sawant’s stats.

For some, maturity falls (that too, flat on its face) in the second category. It just doesn’t come naturally to some. It is just like combing your hair every single day before going out. Have an interview? Practice a straight face. But just like you have a bad hair day, you might have a bad maturity-façade day. And then? Imagine this.

He asks, “Tell me your short and long term plans.”

You have a throat clearing ceremony, sit straight in your chair, look straight at him and start off, “After I embark on the journey of my professional career, I want to mould myself in the culture at ____, which is valued so highly in the corporate arena.” A momentary pause and you think – ‘Oh my god! The mole on his nose looks like a fly!’ Now if that happens, God save you from giving him a “Phbbbbbbbbt…hahaha.”

OK I am not going to dissect the origin, emergence and stemming out of immaturity. If you thought that I could actually do it, here – “Phbbbbbbbbt…hahaha”

So what do immature people think about and how do you spot one?
Read this as “while doing” – “they think about or actually do”:

• Walking– bowling a quick imaginary ball and playing it stylishly (often seen at airports)

• Thinking about the environment –The only bad thing about it being that you don’t have enough trees that will allow you to swing like Tarzan

• Writing forms – making up answers and having a good laugh thinking what would’ve happened, had it actually happened

• Being alone – playing akkad bakkad bambai bo/ think about innocent crimes and talking to themselves in rhymes

• Watching movies – dozing off/making up a story with an unimaginable alien twist

• Dancing – discovering a breath-taking step and actually stealing the show by doing it (e.g. one finger in the mouth accompanied by a vigorous shake of the neck)

• Eating – Smelling everything before eating and then making morsels, arranging them in the plate and naming them before eating each one

• Drinking – When the glass is full, making bubbles by blowing in to the straw and when it is empty, sucking through it to make a really interesting sound

• After blowing your nose in the handkerchief – looking at the handkerchief to see if you have managed to make a map of any country, followed by another attempt and then another.

• Swimming – Going in the water ,singing a song and asking the other person if he could make out the song

• Writing blogs – Wondering if you can actually make a word by mixing the alphabets

• Explaining things –using unrelated analogies

• Discovering that the laptop has become unusually hot - getting clothes out of the closet and quickly start ironing them
  

As for others, they give these innocent people a tough time by giving them derogatory looks(by the way, you can make 'Gatorade' from 'derogatory', just by borrowing an extr ‘a’ from extra). The most painful bit is when people ask questions like, “Why did you just do that?”
So why do these people act like this? From where I observe, there’s just one answer – there is no answer. It’s like that particular scene from all movies – Hindi or English. When the doctor takes out the bullets from a body, they show him ceremoniously putting them in a bowl. It doesn’t have any meaning. But well, the tinkering sound of the bullet does sound great! (If you didn’t get the analogy, refer to the last bullet in the bullets before this paragraph.)
I know many of us feel like acting immature. But there is some strange force in the world that makes us to be the way we are and take a stand for – ‘I m mature.’

Yes. I do seem to hate maturity.